Comments on the Fan Fiction Stories
Thanks so much to those who have taken the time to share your feedback on the fan fiction stories! We love to hear from you -- you help us find the courage and energy to keep writing. Kudos, suggestions, and constructive criticism are all welcome. If you would like to share your own thoughts, please use the contact form.
Comments on "Rematch" (Based on G.I. Jane)
Just read Dorothy's extension to G.I. Jane, please please please continue the story, the first chapters are so good it will be difficult to wait for her version of what happens next. The Master Chief is a truly complicated man (who does that sound like I wonder!) and it's great to see other people creating futures for him and Jordan. Anyone care to do the same with Eddie Boone and Gwen?
I'd like to pass on my congratulations to Dorothy Franklin regarding her story, Rematch -- and hope very much that she will continue it.
I especially enjoyed the pacing of the story, and the way she has carefully developed both characters in believable ways. I am especially glad she has written out Jordan's boyfriend!
We have a mutual friend, Dorothy -- I "met" Kay Linne online quite recently (although apparently we have known of each other for a long while through another site, without ever making contact!)
Anyway -- please continue -- I am sure their weekend will contain some more wonderful character writing as well as some more sparks between these two fascinating characters.
I am a BIG fan of 'Thursday and Friday' both stories in this AU...BIG TIME..have read it several times...THERE MUST BE A 'WEEKEND'!!!!!!!!
THERE MUST BE.....I will haunt you with emails.....until there is MORE!!! This is really well written. I actually had only seen GI JANE long ago..always been a Viggo fan for years...but now I have gone back and reviewed it with an eye toward your story.
I write quite a bit of fan fic...in mostly Magnificent 7 AU ..haven't done any Viggo characters yet....BUT I had a "plot bunnies" that's what I call them. I was pondering what differences their educational backgrounds might make on their relationship..(THERE WILL BE A RELATIONSHIP...AM I NOT CORRECT???) ....she is well educated with lots of college, probably a MA or MS in something...Jack might NOT have those degrees..(or maybe he does ..????) but he is a "learned" man....thinking about a story where (after they start their RELATIONSHIP..) Jack is 'unavailable' for several dates or has to 'cancel'...Jordon is 'suspicious' another little 'female alpha who might be messing with her alpha 'man'..tracks him only to find him tutoring several recruits or non-com personnel in English composition or GED...one of his little secrets....?? something like that..haven't thought it through...
Well, speaking of work...off to bed in the midwest...
PLEASE share more of the story...I finally got a copy of A History of Violence to read BUT the further developments in the RELATIONSHIP of Jack and Jordon would be very welcome intruption...thanks for introducing me to them.
I loved your stories, you made the characters come alive and your writing style is wonderful. Please continue - I'd love to hear more. Thanks Bella
Just read "Autograph". Very quirky, I like the way you mix characters and actors, you did something similar in Rematch when Jack and Jordan went to see Hidalgo. Looking forward to your next chapter in Rematch. Keep up the good work.
This message is for Dorothy Franklin, who wrote Chapters 1 and 2 about J.J. Urgayle and Lt. O'Neil's interactions after the SEAL training was complete. I'd rather not have my name and e-mail address appear in the guestbook, but I don't mind being anonymous.
Like you, I've been fascinated with J.J. Urgayle's character ever since I saw G.I. Jane this year. I would periodically 'google' his name just to see if any fanfiction existed related to the movie, and it was such a treat to find your story! I hadn't even considered the possibility of a relationship between Urgayle and O'Neil because of the difference in their power status as trainer and trainee, but I think you've handled it beautifully!
I agree that O'Neil is not a victim. Urgayle was the only character to take O'Neil's desire to be treated as one guys seriously, and he had the difficult task of setting aside socially accepted scripts towards women (women are to be protected and revered, or to exist as objects of desire and lust) and setting the example that everyone else should follow. Although Urgayle may have initially resented O'Neil for intruding upon his order, I think he grudgingly came to respect her (it started when she demanded of Pyro, I want to be treated like one of the guys! (paraphrasing), and Pyro told her to shut her hole).
Urgayle may have at times demanded more of O'Neil than he did of others, but I think it was only because Urgayle knew that it would take more effort on her part to be accepted (as an example, I think of how the trainers helped some of the guys onto the boat, but Jordan was told to haul her own weight out of the water). And when the guys, esp. Cortez, tried to exclude her from the group, Urgayle's reaction was swift and condemning. Remember how he shoved the oar into Cortez and said he'd get him to learn what it means to be a teammate? Or how he pushed Cortez out of the boat when Cortez said they'd gotten rid of dead weight (O'Neil)?
I don't think Urgayle enjoyed beating O'Neil and that he saw it as a necessary evil, both to show O'Neil the rigors of being a SEAL and to test whether the team would break in the process of tyring to protect O'Neil. Just as O'Neil may be haunted by the abuse she took during the SEAL training, I bet Urgayle may be haunted by the abuse he doled out, too. I think his treatment of O'Neil conflicted with everything he'd ever been taught about women, and I imagined that a part of him was happy to receive her abuse when they fought because he felt guilty and believed he deserved to be kicked all over. Maybe the whole 'don't start something you can't finish' was in reference to the fact that if she fought him, he'd have to punish her for it in the role of jailor (Admittedly, this is reading more into the story than might be portrayed.)
I never once saw him as lacking control. When he held Jordan's face steady before striking her one last time, I think it was to prove to them both that he had spared her nothing in the training - just as she wanted. When the guys turned their backs on Urgayle, it was as if to say, 'you're sadistic - you have no right to treat a woman this way - you've gone too far.' Urgayle, defending himself, explained, 'Guys, I'm trying to save her life' (by showing that ultimately, it's too unpleasant to see a woman demeaned and abused - it will break the team and compromise the mission and the team's safety). O'Neil briefly trembled on the ground and I thought she might fall apart, but then she told Urgayle to 'suck her dick,' and everything changed. Part of the training was resistance, and she managed to get the whole team riled up in a pseudo-uprising. The Chief looked up at one guy climbing the fence, and then looked down at O'Neil with admiration as if to say that she'd passed the test.
Anyway, I saw Urgayle's character as constantly wrestling with his own views towards women (which I'd imagine would be quite sensual and passionate - given his choice of reading), and the task he'd been assigned in training her to be a team member. In any relationship, I'd see him as being the more vulnerable one, becuase he's not used to opening himself up and explaining himself as an equal. I think of how he adopted that gruff, dismissive tone when O'Neil came back from DC after briefly leaving the team (I don't know what's been going on during the past 48 hours, and frankly, I don't give a shit). When O'Neil said that she missed him too, there seemed to be a whole array of emotions warring across his face. Maybe relief that she didn't blame/resent him for the way he'd treated her during SEAL training, discomfort with having her lay their mutual regard for one another on the table, even as a light joke?
Also, who can forget his long searing looks throughout the movie? His gaze seemed so tender and longing each time she and Blondell interacted, and I didn't know if it was because he was jealous of their relationship, starved for the type of emotional connection they had, both? I hope, hope, hope that you finish the story! Even if their relationship can't be long term, I think it would be amazing while it lasted. I don't know how explicit you had planned to be with your writing, but to resolve the quandry of whether O'Neil could be intimate with someone who'd physically abused her (even for an arguably legitimate reason), she could take the more assertive/dominant role. Thanks again for your efforts!
Congratulations on the latest two chapters of "Rematch". I loved it and can't wait to see how you conclude. Will you manage to work "The Indian Runner" or "American Yakuza" in somewhere I wonder? Having read the original script on your site I think I can see one of the directions you will take with their lives. Thank you so much for picking up the strands and weaving a new ending (or should it be beginning?). Please keep writing you have really got to grips with the characters and I can see their expressions and hear their voices and intonation in your writing.
Just finished the latest chapter of rematch and really enjoyed it. I actually liked the chemistry between Urgayle and O'Neil in G.I. Jane when they weren't beating each other up during some of the training. Also like how you included some of G.I. Jane's other characters and even some of Viggo's other movies, especially Hidalgo. I never thought of the similarities between O'Neil and Hopkins. Looking forward to Chapter 5. Keep up the good work.
[Actually, Kay Linne deserves credit for first pointing out the parallels between O'Neil and Hopkins. -- Dorothy]
I finally had time for my bubble bath last night! It was worth the wait - I enjoyed your chapters [3-4] very much. I like how your scenes alternated between describing the easy camaraderie and developing bond between Jordan and Jack, and the tension that flares each time they got close physically. I found myself agreeing with Jack when he said they'd probably crossed the line already and that sex was an arbitrary limit, but I think I'm just as anxious as the characters are for them to get together, and rationalizing! The ethical dilemma is true to their principled characters, however, so I'm glad you included it. I can't wait to read what happens on Monday, regardless of whether they decide to pursue the relationship or not.
congrats on a simply great story.
i think you should post it on www.fanfiction.net for greater exposer and so that others might be influenced and inspired to write about gi jane and especially the mc who is (as u well know)an amazing character.
hope u take my request
[thanks for your suggestion! we tried to check out fanfiction.net but they were going through some sort of database upgrade, will try again later]
I thought I would send you a message to say how much I am enjoying your story about GI Jane, I was reading it all last evening, I like the way you write the story. It seems to be like a believable extra part to the movie, I would have liked to see a follow-on film, but perhaps it wasn't possible, especially Jordan's part. I always liked that film, I didn't even relate Viggo with the part, as he didn't resemble Jack as Aragorn.
Best wishes for the story, I will be watching for the next part. :>))
Rematch is a wonderful story -- well thought-out, true to character, well-written, sexy, and thoroughly absorbing. I check Brego.net daily to see if Chapter 5 has been posted. The two weeks have come and gone twice, but as you can tell, I am longing for the next part, and have not forgotten. I reread Authors Notes this morning and decided it would make sense, in answer to your offer, to ask to be notified when the next posting occurs.
As excited as I am at the prospect of reading the rest of the story, I dread seeing it come to an end. I hope you will continue writing fan fiction, preferably about Viggo or his roles, of course! But in any case, keep writing. You have a wonderful gift and I hope you will continue to use it.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.
I so enjoyed reading all this! It's a wonderful piece of work - so detailed, and with such clear characters.
I was ready to bop everyone round the head for their stubbornness at one point - but of course, nothing like a little tiff (or even a pretty major fight) for ensuring the making up is going to be sweet!
Thanks especialy for the view of Jack getting out of his cold shower. Nice piece of "revenge" for Jordan - and nice visuals for us, too :))
Great stuff - beautifully written -- now my imagination is in overdrive. I am giving it a cold shower as I write :))
Just wanted to congratulate you on chapters 5 & 6 of "Rematch". You kept the suspense going in chapter 6 after their fight, and allowed them to keep their stubbornness and individuality. They wouldn't have been in character if one of them had caved in. Thank you for a great read.
Am I dreaming, or did you alter "Autograph" slightly? I ask because it is updated in September and I remember reading it in July or August. Thanks for some great fiction, hope you get around to writing some more when other commitments let you.
[No, "Autograph" hasn't changed since end June when it was first posted. The database date stamp refers to an update in the description. Sorry about the confusion! --DF]
What a surprise...the events of Monday. Can't wait to read it. Loved what you did with the earlier chapters!!!
Do you plan to write any additional chapters in the future? Mind if I ask if your interest is in Viggo or the story line for GI Jane? I've toyed with writing a follow up to the 28 Days story line. Who know maybe I will sometime. Your writings have been very inspiring...(Viggo is a bit of inspiration too!!!!)
[I may write more, see Author's Notes. My initial interest was in seeing Viggo's films; I wrote about GI Jane because I saw Kay Linne's "On Hold" story and got a flash of inspiration. If I had considered it rationally, I would have picked a different movie, but GI Jane has turned out to be unexpectedly interesting and educational for me! I would love to see you try your hand with 28 Days. "Rematch" was my first story and I didn't think I could write until I tried it. You never know! Best, DF]
Hello, I really like your site. I especially like the story Rematch. I was wondering if you knew of any other sites with G. I. Jane fanfics on them. Fanfiction.net doesn't have any, and AdultFanfiction only has two. If you could please let me know of any sites, I'd be extremely grateful. Thanks.
[Sarah, see MithrilVFB's post of 9/28 for a link to more GI Jane fan fiction. --DF]
I read the last 2 chapters of Rematch, a few days ago, I was excited to see they were up.
First let me say thank you for a lovely story also well written and intelligent, the love in it was just right, but maybe I thought it would have included a teensy bit more sex. :) But you were right, and it made it a happy healthy story. I've read too much Viggo sex that is just, sex, nothing more, and Oh! thank you for Het love, I'm a bit sick of Viggo being partnered with his male co-stars. I'm not anti anything, but I think Viggo is probably very much into the female kind of relationships.
I look forward to reading anything else you write, Viggo or something new, best wishes, Patti xxx
Loved your story and the continuation of these 2 wonderful characters.
First of all, I think this site is wonderfully put together!
I have been reading "Rematch" with great enjoyment and was so happy to log on and see it completed. Nice job!!! I was encouraged to find another story that painted Jack Urgayle in the light that I and many others see him. I think it's one of Viggo Mortensen's best performances. Urgayle could have been such a one-dimensional character, but VM used subtle touches to make him so much more and you explored those areas honestly in your fanfic. Someone was asking where they could find other G.I. Jane fanfics in their comments. viggofanbase.com has several in their Forum, both in the regular fanfiction forum and the adult forum.
Hi! I just read your two GI Jane stories (Rematch and Autograph) and I really enjoyed them. I was just wondering if you had any other fanfictions in the works for this movie. Please tell me that you do, I have tried writing fanfiction for GI Jane and I am never satisfied with the end result. Thanks for your time and please keep up the great stories!
[Thanks for the feedback! Yes, I've been working on a short follow-up to Rematch, called "Team Mate." I will publish it in one piece--no more dibs and dabs. ;) Look for it in January. --Dorothy]
This was a very good story. Is there a sequel, perhaps dealing with her assignment? I'd love it if there is! Great job!
[I have been working on a sequel called "Team Mate" that is set at the Advanced Operator Training (AOT) facility, but it's been on hold a few months while I deal with family issues and my move. I do hope to finish it soon as it's been calling to me lately!]
I loved the story. Am waiting anxiously for Team Mate! Hope it will be up soon! Any idea when it'll be up? Do you know of any other sites w/GI Jane JJ Urgayle fanfiction? Hope to read more of your great writing soon!
[See the fanfiction section of the forum at viggofanbase.com for a great story by Mithril, entitled "Round Two." There is also a fun short by Kay Linne there.]